three wise men forever

A cautionary tale, for those who may be doomed to repeat it.

rating: 0+x

One cannot always be certain that the Chaos Insurgency always stood for the path of good.
The thinkers among us have reverted to the roles of our previous oppressors.
Will we still take the time to look back at the primordial, malevolent chaos we have come from?
What about the cause, huh? Chaos for the sake of Good!
This will end, as will you and I

What does all of this mean?

CI-Recruit set to mode +ix
Chaos Insurgency Official Chatroom | | |
Topic set by Monger on Thu Nov 13 2014 17:50:37 GMT+0800 (China Standard Time)
<CI-Recruit>: *gasp*
<CI-Recruit>: I.. am alive
<e_e>: huh
*** CI-Recruit is now known as Cadbury
<NickServ>: This nickname is registered and protected. If it is your
<NickServ>: nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password. Otherwise,
<NickServ>: please choose a different nick.
<e_e>: Cad!
+++ Cadbury set to mode +r
<NickServ>: Password accepted - you are now recognized.
+++ ChanServ has given admin to Cadbury
+++ ChanServ has given op to Cadbury
<Cadbury>: How long was I out?
<Cadbury>: How have things changed?
<Cadbury>: *What year is it?*
<e_e>: 2014
<Cadbury>: I'm too early
<Cadbury>: The annexation hasn't happened yet
<e_e>: wut annexation?
<Cadbury>: The site…
<Cadbury>: Where is the CI Site?
<e_e>: I ate it
<Cadbury>: Who is the current administrator?
Cadbury berates e_e
<Cadbury>: This is a serious matter, agent!
<e_e>: sorry i was hungry
<Cadbury>: Who is the current administrator?
<e_e>: I forgot, lemme check my toilet bowl…
<Cadbury>: It is still Hockenberry?
<Cadbury>: Good
<Cadbury>: Whatever you do, do not let present me become master admin
<e_e>: what happened to you
e_e pokes Cadubury
<e_e>: *cadbury
<Cadbury>: It will happen on September of 2015
<Cadbury>: I will have joined the SCP site
<Cadbury>: And then…
<e_e>: ooh
<Cadbury>: I will get persuaded by someone, I do not know who
<Cadbury>: This site will be transferred into…
Cadbury hyperventilates
<Cadbury>: Transferred into..
Cadbury hyperventilates some more
<e_e>: Your evil plan, sir?
<Cadbury>: No, no, don't remind me!
Cadbury collapses
<e_e>: CPR
<Cadbury>: Into… a..
e_e does CPR
<e_e>: AED!
Cadbury dies because you didn't do it right
<Cadbury>: a…
<e_e>: Dammit
<Cadbury>: SCP…. canon…
Cadbury vanishes
<e_e>: Nooo, wut?
<e_e>: Lemme go see Pincer Coffin. Just hold on a minute.
e_e steps into Pincer Coffin
<e_e>: i wanna see Cad
e_e hears evil voice in my ear
e_e hears demon say "You want to see Cad? Alright!"
e_e encounters random pincers
<e_e>: AAAAAAAh!
e_e dies
<Cadbury>: *gasp*
<Cadbury>: I.. am alive
<Cadbury>: How long was I out?
<Cadbury>: How have things changed?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Hello…
<Cadbury>: You… what year is it?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: 8394, in hell years
<Cadbury>: Also, you wouldn't happen to know my brother, would you?
<Cadbury>: Seen him around here lately?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Who?
<Cadbury>: Oh, uh, hehe… sorry to bother you
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: e_e was delicious
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: I ate him with my pincers
<Cadbury>: Wasn't he?
<Cadbury>: I should direct you to my friend Steffie
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: He wanted to meet you in hell
<Cadbury>: She tastes good too
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Cause you were dead
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: who…?
<Cadbury>: Oh, you should really go out more, Mr Demon.
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: whoops shit
<Cadbury>: Meet a lot more people
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: using e_e's body I revived
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: you
<Cadbury>: I can see that
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: now he is in hell alone
<Cadbury>: Now, just to know if things have changed around here..
<Cadbury>: Time in the corporeal world stops when you are here in the…well, hell realm, right?
<Cadbury>: Since this warning the past CI Site thing is tiring
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: you can't tell time in hell
<Cadbury>: You just said 8394 hell years
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Rough estimate
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: I mean death didn't install a clock
<Cadbury>: Are hell years equivalent to actual years?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: His hourglass sucks
<Cadbury>: There is a clock tower. Right there.
Cadbury points at far-away nothing
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Really…
YourLocalFriendlyDemon runs toward clock tower
<Cadbury>: Holler me the time when you get there
YourLocalFriendlyDemon bonks his head on tower
<Cadbury>: I'll, uh, just be here.
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: owie
<Cadbury>: Just be like, shouting it. That works
YourLocalFriendlyDemon vaporizes
<Cadbury>: …
<Cadbury>: I should prolly go over there.
Cadbury goes over to YourLocalFriendlyDemon
<Cadbury>: Hey.
<Cadbury>: Hey.
<Cadbury>: Dude, you alright?
<Cadbury>: Hey
YourLocalFriendlyDemon whispers as vapors
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: what the hell did I bump into
<Nouva>: not gonna lie, i really have no idea whats going on.
<Cadbury>: I thought I saw a clock tower…
<Cadbury>: Oh, hey, Nouva!
<Nouva>: Sup
<Cadbury>: How'd you get into the ethereal plane?
YourLocalFriendlyDemon gains form of a 80-year-old woman
<Cadbury>: Look at you, all drifting around and floating
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Hello…want some cookies???
<Nouva>: I used my kinesis poweres to bring me to it
<Cadbury>: So, if I should enlighten you
<Nouva>: Sure
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: Here child, coookies
<Nouva>: Please do so
<Cadbury>: Me and this demon guy here are just finding a way to get the time
<Nouva>: Time for what?
<Cadbury>: You know, the time
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: I totally forgot about e_e…
<Cadbury>: There's no clock here in the ethereal plane
<Nouva>: Hm…ah yes…the time
<Cadbury>: Isn't that right, YourLocalFriendlyDemon?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: THere is a crappy hourglass
Cadbury nods
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: which is well crappy
<Nouva>: Can we build one?
<Cadbury>: Not unless we know what time it is
<Cadbury>: Is there a sun or something here, YourLocalFriendlyDemon?
<Nouva>: Is there a sun here? i can see you
<Nouva>: Wow jinx'
<Cadbury>: Jinx
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: No, you are on the sun
<Cadbury>: …
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: that's way hell is lavaish
<Nouva>: So there is a surface?
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: In some places
<Cadbury>: This is a really neat sun
<Nouva>: How big is this sun?
<Cadbury>: So, if we are on the sun, how can we tell the time
<Nouva>: Good point. Can we use earth as a basis?
<Cadbury>: I don't think we have an earth here
<Cadbury>: This is the ethereal plane, after all
<Nouva>: What can we do in the ethereal plane Cad?
<Nouva>: This plane better be bigger than UY Scuti
<Cadbury>: Hm, maybe we can build a fire for the while
<Nouva>: But arnet suns hot?
<Nouva>: arent*
<Cadbury>: Don't be silly, we're ghosts. This is the ethereal plane
<Nouva>: Oh yeah!
<Cadbury>: I don't even know why we can still use eyes.
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: if this is hell, then where's e_e
<Cadbury>: Yes, we have totally forgotten e_e
<Nouva>: But either way
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: HE CHEATED DEATH
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: THAT BASTARD
<Nouva>: Whos e_e
<Cadbury>: It would be nice to have another companion with us
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: I'LL GET HIS ASS THIS TIME
<Cadbury>: Whoa, chill, YourLocalFriendlyDemon
<YourLocalFriendlyDemon>: YEARGH!!!!!
<Cadbury>: Let's have a deal: you help me tell the time, we help with whatever Nouva's reasons for coming here are,
and I'll help you find e_e
<Nouva>: Where did he go?
<Cadbury>: Hm
<Cadbury>: I guess his anger gave off heat
<Cadbury>: Thus, absorbing him into the sun
<Cadbury>: In a way, he has just become a star
<Nouva>: But i have to find my reason to why i died…or why i am here..
<Cadbury>: This is the ethereal plane
<Nouva>: So maybe we are the time
<Cadbury>: Whatever thing you seemed to want upon entering here is probably the reason why you're here
<Cadbury>: In my case, it's telling time
+++ ChanServ has given admin to Sax
+++ ChanServ has given op to Sax
<Cadbury>: Let's ask this guy
<Cadbury>: Hey.
<Cadbury>: ProcyonLotor
<Cadbury>: Hey
<Cadbury>: Over here!
e_e lands here
<Cadbury>: e_e! You're back
<ProcyonLotor>: Uh?
<Nouva>: Welcome to the ethereak plane
<Cadbury>: Procy
<ProcyonLotor>: What do you need?
<Nouva>: Hey
<Cadbury>: What is the time?
<ProcyonLotor>: Howdy
<Cadbury>: Please tell us
<ProcyonLotor>: 11:42 PM here
Cadbury ascends
<Cadbury>: Bye guuuuys!
<Cadbury>: Thank you, ProcyonLotor!
<ProcyonLotor>: Anytime
<Nouva>: HAHAHA I guess he told you
<e_e>: ow
<e_e>: demon's got me
<e_e>: demon's got me
<Nouva>: But demon's not here..
<Cadbury>: Guys, this ascension thing is really high
Cadbury several meters off the ground
<Cadbury>: Guys
<e_e>: He killed me again
<Cadbury>: Help
<Cadbury>: Waaaaaaaa
<Nouva>: I cant fly yet Cad you have to fall down
<Cadbury>: I caaaaaan't
<Cadbury>: I'm ascending
<Cadbury>: The only reason i was in the ethereal plane was because i didn't know the time
<Cadbury>: Heeelp
<Nouva>: So what your going back to earth? But Cad? you dont know the date!!
<Cadbury>: I only needed to know the tiiiiiime
Cadbury vanishes

rating: 0+x

== Base Six ==

How far has it spread, Dr. Cavendish?

We've begun evacuating the remaining personnel from Base One. Everything in it is free now.

Attempted relocation of Site 19: FAILED

It's spread to most of the

—dammit, hold on. Hold on. Svalbard, get an anchor over here and max it!



As you can perceive, we're being hit hard. Spatial-temporally, everything is being re-aligned, shifted and changed.

That's all I would understand in my layman terms. Tell me what we can do to stop this.

Nothing, Alan. Nothing we can do now.

Surely we could find a way. We haven't been hit yet, so there is still time.

Huh? Nah, it's too late for that. After all, it's already spread to us. For example, do you remember the time when you were the Director?

<e_efeelingweird>: i am feeling weird
<e_efeelingweird>: as evident to my name
<Nouva>: Whys that e_e
<e_efeelingweird>: Where am I now
<Cadbury>: Define the weirdness, e_e
<e_efeelingweird>: Like something's heavy in my head
<Cadbury>: I have a ringing in my eyes
<Cadbury>: Since yesterday
* e_efeelingweird is now known as e_efeelingwe_eird
<Cadbury>: Tell me when this started, my friend
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: A while ago
<Nouva>: Hm doctor?
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: I remembered walking towards Pincer Coffin…
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: And then blackout
<Nouva>: Oh i feared this
<Cadbury>: Can anybody tell me why my eyes are ringing
e_efeelingwe_eird burps
<Cadbury>: Nouva, where are your ears?
<Nouva>: What do you mean?
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: i am burping vapor
<Cadbury>: I can't see your ears anywhere
<Nouva>: There right he….where are my ears?!
<Cadbury>: Also that vapor smells sulfuric
e_efeelingwe_eird farts
e_efeelingwe_eird burps again
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: not good
<Cadbury>: Not good at all
<Cadbury>: Let's go to my office
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: okay.
<Nouva>: Wait for me doctor
Cadbury Nouva and e_e walk up to my office doors
<Cadbury>: Hm
<Cadbury>: There is no office door
<Cadbury>: I have the keys
Cadbury jingles keys in the air
<Nouva>: I have an axe
e_efeelingwe_eird burps and farts at the same time
<Nouva>: Break the windows
<Cadbury>: I have axe
Cadbury sprays himself with axe
<Cadbury>: Want some, E?
DevilClef set to mode +ix
e_efeelingwe_eird vomits hydrochloric acid
<Cadbury>: Nouva, get that bucket.
<Nouva>: GOT IT!
<Cadbury>: /me
<Nouva>: K
Cadbury hands it to e_e
Nouva Nouva swings axe at the axe
e_efeelingwe_eird continues to vomit
<Cadbury>: Just vomit everything in that there bucket.
<Nouva>: oops
<Cadbury>: All the sulfur
e_efeelingwe_eird melts bucket
<Cadbury>: Nonsense
<Cadbury>: The reality benders choose to maintain the structural integrity of that bucket
<Nouva>: So are we gonna get in the office
e_efeelingwe_eird vomits on door
e_efeelingwe_eird melts door
<Cadbury>: Thanks e_e
<Cadbury>: Let's go
Nouva puts ice bag on e_e's head and gives him a blanket
Cadbury walks up into door
Cadbury turns on light switch
<Nouva>: This place smells weird
<Cadbury>: The mints are multiplying
<Nouva>: I still have the axe
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: reminds of a gym my great-great-great grandma used to go
<Cadbury>: Also I guess we're not in my office at all
<Cadbury>: we're in the interior of a jackfruit
<Cadbury>: My jackfruit costume
<Nouva>: Plot twist
<Cadbury>: Before I carved it into a costume and emptied the fruit inside
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: Did someone say jackfruit
<Nouva>: Um but what about the mints
e_efeelingwe_eird tenses
e_efeelingwe_eird 's body's allergic reaction starts
<Nouva>: Hes going into shock!
DevilClef set to mode +ix
<Cadbury>: Well feed him mints
e_efeelingwe_eird steams arsenic pentafluoride
Nouva gives him mintsa
<Cadbury>: You know, with all of the chemicals in the bucket
<Nouva>: What?
<Nouva>: What do i know?
<Cadbury>: They look pretty fun to watch
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: Ouch, who stuffed the mint on my head?
<Nouva>: Excuse me doctor?
<Cadbury>: Look at them, all solidifying and separating
<Nouva>: I did!!!!!
<Nouva>: Now HUSH!
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: Who was that?
<Cadbury>: Who's who?
<Nouva>: and let the healing process beigfing]
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: The guy who spoke in red
<Nouva>: begin*
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: bllooodddy red
<Cadbury>: I could remember him from… a past chapter
<Nouva>: Oh well he's gone now
<Cadbury>: Nothing to worry about
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: I hate mints!!!
<Cadbury>: …
<Cadbury>: Whhat
<Cadbury>: What
e_efeelingwe_eird vomits
<Cadbury>: Did you'
<Cadbury>: Just say'
<Nouva>: Well the mints hate you but they decided to grow some balls and help you!!! TAKE THE MINTS!!!!!
<Cadbury>: e_e
<Cadbury>: What
<Cadbury>: did you
<Cadbury>: just say?
Cadbury twitches
<Nouva>: …
<e_efeelingwe_eird>: Grr… Mints…I cannot stay in this body anymore
<Cadbury>: You… hate mints?
<Nouva>: …doctor?
e_efeelingwe_eird burps flames
<Nouva>: …we need to go.
<Nouva>: ……please doctor
* e_efeelingwe_eird is now known as YourLocalRagingDemon
<Cadbury>: You… hate mints?
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: EARARAH!
<Nouva>: Doctor Cad PLEASE!!!
* Cadbury is now known as Caduceus
<Nouva>: OH GOA!!!
<Nouva>: GOD!!*
YourLocalRagingDemon stomps on e_e's head
<Nouva>: You know what??
<Nouva>: I have an axe
<Nouva>: An axe
<Nouva>: An
<Nouva>: Axe
Caduceus kills Martin Caduceus, a.k.a., Cadbury
<Nouva>: And im gonna defeat the is raging demon!!!
Caduceus deflects axe with Staff of Hermes
<Caduceus>: No. *I'm* going to destroy the raging demon
DevilClef set to mode +ix
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: No axe can get me.
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: You don't know what is my true form yet…
<Nouva>: Well this axe isnt a normal axe
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: You shall fear it
<Nouva>: Well f
* it then, power up and lets battle
<Caduceus>: N O O N E
YourLocalRagingDemon dissipates into a red cloud
<DevilClef>: .
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: You cannot get me!!!!
<Nouva>: I will also go into my true form
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: DevilClef ???
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: I will go into my true form…
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: I will have to charge up for my true form
<DevilClef>: .
<SuperNouva>: You messed with the wrong doctor
<Caduceus>: Et tu, SuperNouva
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: 78% power
<Caduceus>: *CLING*
<Caduceus>: *CLANG*
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: ow, stahp
<SuperNouva>: KA
<SuperNouva>: ME
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: 86%
<Caduceus>: HAAAAAGGHH
<SuperNouva>: HA
<SuperNouva>: ME
<Caduceus>: I swear by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius the surgeon, likewise Hygeia and Panacea, and call all the

gods and goddesses to witness, that I will observe and keep this underwritten oath, to the utmost of my power and

<Caduceus>: I will reverence my master who taught me the art. Equally with my parents, will I allow him things

necessary for his support, and will consider his sons as brothers. I will teach them my art without reward or agreement;

and I will impart all my acquirements, instructions, and whatever I know, to my master's children, as to my own; and

likewise to all my pupil
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: 93%
<YourLocalRagingDemon>: 99%……
<SuperNouva>: Get ready…
<DevilClef>: STOP
<DevilClef>: All of you
*** YourLocalRagingDemon is now known as Shrek
<DevilClef>: My name is



DevilClef plays A-minor on ukelele
<Caduceus>: Brother?
<DevilClef>: Brother.
<SuperNouva>: Its ogre now you green bastard
* Shrek is now known as ShrekKing
<Caduceus>: This meme expired long ago, Mr. Shrek
<DevilClef>: Calm it, three of you
<ShrekKing>: I have risen from hell!!!
<DevilClef>: There is no hell, ShrekKing
<DevilClef>: It is as empty as its counterpart
<ShrekKing>: What, I was just there!
<DevilClef>: No
<DevilClef>: You were just here
Caduceus reverts into Cadbury
* Caduceus is now known as Cadbury

Cadbury set to mode +r

<ShrekKing>: Nooo. OgrePowah!
<DevilClef>: Now that I have everyone's attention
<DevilClef>: ZIP IT
DevilClef shotgun ShrekKing
<SuperNouva>: You will die just like that site you came from
*** ShrekKing is now known as PanzerShrek
<SuperNouva>: I swear!!!
<DevilClef>: I've come to take my brother back
<Cadbury>: What
<Cadbury>: Shit
<PanzerShrek>: Panzer mode on
<PanzerShrek>: turrets on
<PanzerShrek>: tracks on
<PanzerShrek>: tank tops on
<SuperNouva>: I must assend!!! I have to go even further beyond!!

<DevilClef>: Good, Nouva
<DevilClef>: Now, come on, bro. We got much to catch up
<PanzerShrek>: Engines at full ogrecapacity
<SuperNouva2>: HAAAAAA!!!!!!!
<PanzerShrek>: blitzshrek mode on….
<SuperNouva2>: Time to die shrek
<PanzerShrek>: I have heavy armor
* Cadbury is now known as CDC-Ukelele
<CDC-Ukelele>: I am reborn
<PanzerShrek>: I am in ultimate Ogre Form
<PanzerShrek>: OGREANGER
<SuperNouva2>: Well then i will just have to push IIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<CDC-Ukelele>: Hahahaha
<SuperNouva2>: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* SuperNouva2 is now known as SuperNouva3
<CDC-Ukelele>: Two minds become one
<CDC-Ukelele>: And I am the end result
<PanzerShrek>: Ukeleles
<PanzerShrek>: aiming
<SuperNouva3>: CDC….if we cannot defeat this beast of legend…we must fuse together
<CDC-Ukelele>: No
<SuperNouva3>: Charging my attack!@!
<CDC-Ukelele>: The Clef blood must be pure
<CDC-Ukelele>: Unless…
<CDC-Ukelele>: Are you…a Clef, SuperNouva?
<PanzerShrek>: I razed on ClefChowder
<PanzerShrek>: My weakness is b-
<PanzerShrek>: shut up i almost said it
<SuperNouva3>: …
<PanzerShrek>: Anyhow, firing my gustavogre turret
<SuperClouva3>: I must destroy the evil
<CDC-Ukelele>: The Clef is emerging within you
PanzerShrek aims at CDC-Ukelele
<CDC-Ukelele>: Now, PanzerShrek
PanzerShrek aims at SuperClouva3 with machine guns
<CDC-Ukelele>: It's one for you money



<CDC-Ukelele>: Two for your clothes
<CDC-Ukelele>: Three to get ready
<CDC-Ukelele>: And four for the show
<SuperClouva3>: TAKE THIS!!!
<PanzerShrek>: Lock and Load
PanzerShrek dodges SuperClouva3


CDC-Ukelele plays ukelele while Clouva and Shrek duke it out
PanzerShrek unleashes unholy Shrek triplets
<PanzerShrek>: Git Em, guys!
SuperClouva3 appears behind shrek to stab him with an onion dagger
<PanzerShrek>: wat
<PanzerShrek>: wat
<PanzerShrek>: wat
<PanzerShrek>: my armor-
<PanzerShrek>: is pierceee-
PanzerShrek tenses
<CDC-Ukelele>: Now SuperClouva3!
SuperClouva3 starts to bleed out from the triplet attacks
CDC-Ukelele smashes Ukelele on PanzerShrek
SuperClouva3 but pierces his heart!!!!!
CDC-Ukelele unloads shotgun rounds
CDC-Ukelele stabs with scalpel arsenal
<PanzerShrek>: NONONO
CDC-Ukelele More shotgun
<SuperClouva3>: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /me shoves his hand through his body
*** PanzerShrek is now known as ShrekBunker
<ShrekBunker>: Bunkermode on
CDC-Ukelele more shotgun
SuperClouva3 feels exhausted
<CDC-Ukelele>: This is his last stage, Clouva
<CDC-Ukelele>: One more, and he's dead
<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 3000/100000000


ShrekBunker installs Donkey guards
CDC-Ukelele shotgun donkey
CDC-Ukelele shotguns guards
ShrekBunker shuts Ogrenium door
<Pain>: I will give you pain
<ShrekBunker>: I am weakening
<Pain>: I am god
CDC-Ukelele shotguns Shrek
<Pain>: Time to die evil
<CDC-Ukelele>: And I am the Devil
<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 1500/100000000
<Pain>: Together we shall end this
<CDC-Ukelele>: And that Hermes guy, if you want to be so technical
<CDC-Ukelele>: SHOTGUN
<Pain>: No fuck him, its just us
<Pain>: Now prepare!!!
<CDC-Ukelele>: Now, ready aim fire
<ShrekBunker>: Deflects bullet with roar
<Pain>: Remember that axe?
<Pain>: Well here!!!!!
CDC-Ukelele reveals Axe
<CDC-Ukelele>: Gotcha covered
<ShrekBunker>: shit
<CDC-Ukelele>: Go take him up front



<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 1345/100000000
Pain hits shrek with axe
<ShrekBunker>: Shiiiiiieeeet
CDC-Ukelele hits Shrek with Axe. In the back
<ShrekBunker>: -1300
<Pain>: This is my swamp
<CDC-Ukelele>: This is for e_e
<Pain>: And its ogre now
CDC-Ukelele hits with axe
<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 45/100000000
<CDC-Ukelele>: This is for EdAWACS
<ShrekBunker>: -44
CDC-Ukelele hits again
<Pain>: Wait!!!
<CDC-Ukelele>: What
<Pain>: Wait…
<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 1/100000000
<CDC-Ukelele>: Now is the time to be consumed, Shrek
<ShrekBunker>: I can only be killed with one object
<Nouva>: I will do this as me
CDC-Ukelele siphons essence
<ShrekBunker>: -0
<ShrekBunker>: HP Left: 1/100000000
<Nouva>: Siphons essence..
<CDC-Ukelele>: His… his strength
<CDC-Ukelele>: Is mine
<ShrekBunker>: You shall not find out my weakness
<Nouva>: Oninos
<CDC-Ukelele>: No, we will never find it
<Nouva>: Onions
<Nouva>: …no
<CDC-Ukelele>: But we have found something more
<ShrekBunker>: More specifically
<Nouva>: Its
<Nouva>: cake
<ShrekBunker>: It's
ShrekBunker sneezes
<Nouva>: Yes?
<ShrekBunker>: The room is full of it!
<CDC-Ukelele>: The VOMIT
<Nouva>: What?
CDC-Ukelele hits Shrek with Jackfruit over and over and over
<Nouva>: Damn!!! Get it !!!!!
<ShrekBunker>: No…e_e is afraid of jackfruit
<CDC-Ukelele>: Splt
<CDC-Ukelele>: Crck
Nouva does the same
<CDC-Ukelele>: Dulk
<CDC-Ukelele>: Splat
<Nouva>: Die die die die die die die die die die did eid deid die die died die die die die die die die
<ShrekBunker>: It's something inside the vomit
<CDC-Ukelele>: Clk
<Nouva>: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<ShrekBunker>: M-m-
<CDC-Ukelele>: mints
Nouva collapses in exhaustion
CDC-Ukelele grabs mint tins
<Nouva>: The mints
<ShrekBunker>: no, it is definitley no that
<ShrekBunker>: not that
<Nouva>: Do it CDC
<CDC-Ukelele>: *SPLT*
<ShrekBunker>: NOOO
<CDC-Ukelele>: *CRCK*
<CDC-Ukelele>: *DULK*
<ShrekBunker>: -100000000
<Nouva>: Do IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<CDC-Ukelele>: *SPLAT*
<CDC-Ukelele>: *PLTK*
<ShrekBunker>: HP: -100000000/100000000
ShrekBunker dies
Nouva sighs in relief
<CDC-Ukelele>: It's over
<Nouva>: It is
<Nouva>: Good bye…shrek
<CDC-Ukelele>: What is left of him is too minted to be usable
<CDC-Ukelele>: Well, it's been fun
* ShrekBunker is now known as ShrekBody
<CDC-Ukelele>: But we all have to die sometimes
<Nouva>: It has…you can power down now
CDC-Ukelele holds shotgun
CDC-Ukelele aims at Nouva
<Nouva>: CDC?
<CDC-Ukelele>: You do it
CDC-Ukelele turns gun around, hands to Nouva
<Nouva>: What?
<CDC-Ukelele>: I've absorbed too much of him
<Nouva>: CDC why?
<Nouva>: ….
<CDC-Ukelele>: His strength.. was too much
* ShrekBody is now known as PileofGreenDust
<Nouva>: …………
<CDC-Ukelele>: I'm… it's…
<CDC-Ukelele>: Do it
Nouva cries
<Nouva>: *BANG*
CDC-Ukelele clutches stomach
<CDC-Ukelele>: Again
<CDC-Ukelele>: P-please!
<Nouva>: *BANG in the head* Good bye…friend
CDC-Ukelele doubles over, collapses
CDC-Ukelele glows in bright green
Nouva drops gun screams
<CDC-Ukelele>: —Aaaarrghhh!!
<CDC-Ukelele>: *dies*
Nouva stands back up
Nouva walks over to the bucket
Nouva looks at it
Nouva spits in it
*** PileofGreenDust is now known as e_e

rating: 0+x

Haos burped. Liver sandwiches were abundant in the Tamlin House, especially so when Josef bin Tamlin himself decided on the particular choice meat on a hot, humid Saturday.

The Foundation Administrator continued opening up files and mission reports on Tamlin's PC, loading up videos and amateur photographs and image stills of the world's state at large. His voicebox issued forth a continuous stream of information directed at the several directors, executive heads and leaders seated loftily in Tamlin's lounge hall.

… forcibly removed from the Old Man's corpse. 1011 and the Division's Servant Hammer have been reunited. SCP-2000's defenses are down and the onset of SCP-610, that's Fleshspread to you other lot, have been confirmed. And that brings us to the Chaos Insurgency Items.

It has been proven that the Creation of Darwin has grown over half of Greenland and is assimilating wildlife and human subjects into a sort of… hivemind of metamorphic creatures.

The being known as Theodora Lamben, otherwise known as the Scorned Angel, has been freed and has willingly auto-terminated. She will be cremated following her request and buried in Site Omega.

We've received word that QUAESITOR crashed into the Indo-Pacific Ocean two days ago. SCPS Nautilius resurfaced from the east and is currently en route to survey the satellite.

As for the sudden recurrence of the Writings by the Chalk, it seemed to be a language both 336 and 001-Artemis speak. They are currently dead. No other word on that yet.

You know, hell went into the handbasket a long times ago, the Head Archivist chimed in.

Why is that? Haos replied.

Well, for starters, I sure miss quotation marks.


No time for that. We should get more data on. Haos, see if you can upload the last cache of QUAESITOR's datastorage. Dal Segno Al Fine, gather up the remnants of any of your remaining member organizations and get them to the Ways as soon as possible. Marshall, Carter and Fuller, liquidate all of your assets immediately and transfer the funds to my account.

<e_e>: What happened
<Nouva>: Welcome back old friend
<e_e>: Is that cad *pokes body
<Nouva>: He will be resurected soon
<e_e>: Why is there green stuff everywhere
<Nouva>: I need to build back my styrength
<Nouva>: Dont ask…and if you so much as say the word mint
<Nouva>: ill kill you e_e
<Nouva>: Deal?
<e_e>: Why?
<Nouva>: Trust me….you dont want to know
<e_e>: Ok I won't say mint
<Nouva>: Good now help me draw a pentogram around Cads body
Nouva cuts my hand to draw blood
e_e takes out handy dandy brush
e_e coughs
Nouva once your done sit at the opposite side of me when your done
e_e nosebleeds
<Nouva>: alright…ready?
<e_e>: Okay *Coughs
<e_e>: "There's darkness inside all of us"
<Nouva>: Chi Da So Fi Ma Cho Kai Sai Hu Ji
<Nouva>: Kin Hyu Tei Her Me Ko Pu Fu Ku Yin Di
<Nouva>: Rise from the ashes reborn!!!
<Nouva>: Rise!!!
<Nouva>: …
<Nouva>: Get the hell up you son of a b!!!!
<e_e>: Here what about this
<Nouva>: RISE!!!!!!!!
<Nouva>: What is it?
e_e does CPR to CDC-Ukelele
<e_e>: live
<e_e>: live
<e_e>: live
<Nouva>: …..oh yeah
<e_e>: C-
<e_e>: P-
<e_e>: R-
CDC-Ukelele decomposes
<Nouva>: Well shiut
<Nouva>: shit*
<Nouva>: um…
<e_e>: Lets insert him into Pincer Coffin
<Nouva>: NOOOO
<Nouva>: NOT YET
<Nouva>: Wait
CDC-Ukelele recomposes, then *begins* to decompose
<e_e>: Just do it
e_e picks up CDC-Ukelele
e_e puts CDC-Ukelele into Coffin
e_e shuts Coffin
<e_e>: We'll see how it goes
<e_e>: The f*ck
<e_e>: Why is the coffin green
CDC-Ukelele exits coffin
<CDC-Ukelele>: *NO*
<CDC-Ukelele>: No no no no no no
<e_e>: What…?
CDC-Ukelele grabs gun from Nouva
CDC-Ukelele cocks it
<e_e>: You're alive
CDC-Ukelele shoots at self
CDC-Ukelele again
CDC-Ukelele and again
<CDC-Ukelele>: All of US!
<e_e>: No
e_e disarms CDC-Ukelele
CDC-Ukelele continues shooting
<CDC-Ukelele>: ALL Of us
<e_e>: Dammit
e_e brings Creature of Scientists
<e_e>: Okay crea- *coughs
<e_e>: ture of Sci *coughs
<e_e>: entists *coughs
<e_e>: Neutralize CDC-Ukelele
e_e coughs smoke
<e_e>: I am definitely allergic to this green dust, whatever the hell it is.
e_e sneezes
e_e coughs
CDC-Ukelele has no more shotgun rounds
CDC-Ukelele dies
<e_e>: c'mon
<e_e>: c'mon
e_e drags a Polapup along
<e_e>: Here, resurrect *COugh him
<e_e>: Snuggle
<e_e>: Hig
<e_e>: *Hug
e_e coughs up green smoke
<e_e>: Snuggggleee
<CDC-Ukelele>: Polapup snuggles
<e_e>: yay *cough
CDC-Ukelele dies
<e_e>: shiiittt
<e_e>: Well, I guess the scalpels are mine
<e_e>: and dartguns
<e_e>: and ukeleles
<e_e>: and mints
e_e takes the items
<e_e>: Why is the green dust retreating from mints?
<e_e>: I wonder what will happen if I do this
e_e cuts ukelele string with scalpel
<e_e>: why is the ground shaking
<e_e>: why is there a hand from the ground
<e_e>: CLEF
<e_e>: Don't KEEL ME
<e_e>: NOOOO
e_e sinks into ground
<e_e>: noooooooooo!!!!
e_e vanishes


<Crowley:> We found Haos' body by the old stadium's front hallway, propped up to a makeshift headrest. Blood poured profusely from the parts of his forehead that were cut open. Small, black boils dotted his bald dome. His skin remained intact, as were his clothes. His skin had a sickly, tan feel to it. It was a bit sticky, much like a dengue patient. It smelled like infected skin, so Cadec took a bite out of it to see if it can be used.

<Crowley:> We made an improvised stretcher using some baseball bats, nails, the Confederate flags and a bee-spee. There were four of us, but Haos was incredibly light for a man his size. We carried him to the transport.

<Crowley:> Shortly after loading him into the back, the weather started freezing up again. We double-timed and cut off an arm to make sure the gas was still enough. A processor was used to convert Stray's arm into fuel. It was enough to start the vehicle and get to the FOB. That was a good call too, for the second Edden Denlop floored it, we could hear the new gods enter the vicinity.

<Halson:> So, you're saying that you picked up a transcript of what they were saying?

<Crowley:> Yes. I'm uploading it to your data-station now, Halson. The orbit-base will run out of oxygen in six minutes, and emergency systems in twenty. You will find enough of SEPIA to restart the organization if you want, Halson. As the new leader.

<Halson:> I'm honored, Mr. Crowley, but I still have things to settle.

<Crowley:> ah, yes, the family. Say hello to the kids for me. They told me how brave you were.


<Crowley:> You'll find them someday, Halsey.

<Halson:> Thank you, Derek.

<Crowley has disconnected from ##Omega(AllGoI)>

<Cadbury>: Yes, I'm aware
<Cryosim>: For now, brb
<Cadbury>: e_e
<Cadbury>: it has been a long time
<e_e>: hiiiieee
<Cadbury>: This chatroom was not used for many harvests
<Cadbury>: Do you…
<Cadbury>: Still remember?
<e_e>: wut?
<Cadbury>: The fight
<Cadbury>: An end to all things
<e_e>: oh…
<e_e>: i wished not
<Cadbury>: Do you remember this font color…and who used it?
<e_e>: oh noes
<Cadbury>: Ahh, you do remember
<Cadbury>: And do you..
<Cadbury>: recall one who has fallen?
<Cadbury>: Our comrade before
<e_e>: arrr
<Cadbury>: So it *is* recalled
<Cadbury>: What had transpired
<Cadbury>: What had been done
<Cadbury>: What had been lost
<e_e>: stahp
<e_e>: STAHP
Cadbury cries
<Cadbury>: We've all done the worst kinds of things
<Cadbury>: Just to save ourselves
<e_e>: nooo
<e_e>: stawp
<Cadbury>: Forget what you know
<Cadbury>: Nouva has fallen in your attack
<e_e>: he…did?
<Cadbury>: Caduceus has been lost
<Cadbury>: A third of the world's religions has been forgotten overnight
<e_e>: Please..stawp
<Cadbury>: Don't ignore it
<Cadbury>: We have lost Unified Hershellism
<e_e>: plsss
<Cadbury>: *I* used to be a member of the Brotherhood of the Zombie Hershel Head, e_e
<e_e>: grrr…
<Cadbury>: I was a glenniaan sect
<Cadbury>: And a carlan
* e_e is now known as Shre_eUndead
<Cadbury>: Do you remember me…
<Cadbury>: being my brother
* Shre_eUndead is now known as Shre_ekUndead
<Shre_ekUndead>: What?
<Cryosim>: goddamn it. i accidentaly wiped /var/www and now i have to code it again.
<Cadbury>: COE THEN
<Cadbury>: CODE
<Cadbury>: AAAGH
<Cadbury>: E_E don't
<Shre_ekUndead>: I am no E_E
<Cryosim>: *Coding frenzy*
<Shre_ekUndead>: I…
<Shre_ekUndead>: am…
<Shre_ekUndead>: what are you doing here Shrek? Get back to hell!
* Shre_ekUndead is now known as De_eath
<Cadbury>: I see a PM on your chat client… who could it be
<De_eath>: You is shrekkushi
<De_eath>: …?
<Cadbury>: Pls stop
<Cadbury>: I have a pet
<De_eath>: Wut pet?
<Cadbury>:<Cryosim>: y?
<Cadbury>: De_eath
<De_eath>: I like image linksss
<Cadbury>: I will call a formal truce to hostilities
<De_eath>: especially dead ones
<Cadbury>: If we beat up Cryosim for invading the moment
<Cryosim>: please no
<Cryosim>: not the white van again
<De_eath>: I am not responsible for the previous incidents.
<Cadbury>: We have a blue van
<Cryosim>: with the blanked out windows
<Cadbury>: With tinted purple windows
<Cryosim>: i must have been high then
<Cryosim>: yeah
<Cadbury>: And a yellow-orange "Strate-A Assasins" vinyl on the side
<De_eath>: …
<Cryosim>: really?
<Cryosim>: i’m feeling quite woozy
<Cadbury>: De_eath, get the van!
<Cryosim>: wwhyyyyiiissthheeskkkyyraaiinbooow
De_eath drives a dark van with skull decorations on site
<Cryosim>: ohhowooooow
<Cadbury>: NO, the blue van
<Cryosim>: mother
<Cadbury>: That one has…erm, stuff in the back
<Cadbury>: From my emo days
<Cryosim>: i see the light at the end of the tunnel
De_eath snaps fingers
<Cadbury>: We're on a bridge
<De_eath>: van is now blue with skulls
<De_eath>: better?
<Cadbury>: For fuck's sake, I'm getting the Satire truck
<Cadbury>: Satyr truck
De_eath yawms
<Cryosim>: whhooooaaaaaaaaaa
<De_eath>: *yawns
<De_eath>: stupid
Cadbury goes to page
<Cryosim>: why are you bringing the rainbow truccck
<Cadbury>: You're coming along
<Cryosim>: nooooooplazzzzz
<Cryosim>: nootttttttrainboowwwwland
<Cryosim>: *gaaaack*
<Cadbury>: Jesus christ cryosim
<Cryosim>: **head clonks against floor

<Cadbury>: you sound like my ex
<Cadbury>: not ex
<De_eath>: …waht
<Cadbury>: we are too young and too soapy for this shit
<Cryosim>: was your ex high
<Cadbury>: that was a poor choice of words
<Cryosim>: or not high
<Cadbury>: Masochistic
<Cryosim>: okay br right back, getting coff3
<Cryosim disconnects.>
<Cadbury>: It's new years, ya squar
<Cadbury>: Get wine or something
<Cadbury>: > we are too young and too soapy for this shit
<Cadbury>: Someone quote that. Put it on a poster. Print it on a shirt.
*** De_eath is now known as Sle_epyDeath
<Cryosim>: Back
<Cryosim>: I am now officially sober
<Cadbury>: We were *all* sober until the Halsa-yay-yay disaster of December 31.
<Cryosim>: Dec 31?
<Sle_epyDeath>: i wasn't there
<Cadbury>: Exactly.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License