Mass Edit Deleted Tales

By Victor StrateVictor Strate and Dr Hockenberry Dr Hockenberry

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Doctors Hockenberry and Strate were summoned to the Alpha Level office for a briefing on a new assignment. They enter the office, and sit down in two leather chairs. “I’ve called you here for an emergency meeting,” said Dr Nouva, “The Physics Engine, and The Staff of Hermes were stolen two nights ago by a surprise attack on one of the storage sites.”

“And I suppose you want us to retrieve them,” said Hockenberry bitterly.

“Yes, I do.” Replied Nouva, “Victor, you will be after the Physics Engine. Your code name is Agent ‘Linear’.”

“Cool,” replied Strate in a mellow tone.

“Ke…”

“Have you forgotten my request so easily?” interrupted Hockenberry.

“…Sorry, I mean Hound, you’ll be after the Staff of Hermes. Your code name will be Agent ‘Sniffer’.”

“Okay” replied Hockenberry with a sigh.

“When addressing anyone besides each other, use your code names.” said Nouva sternly.


They left the office, and headed towards the “Parking Lot,” as everyone referred to it as, but it was an old airplane hangar, in which everyone stored their private means of transportation.

“So what was your deal with Nouva in there?” asked Strate, “I know it was about your name.”

Hockenberry replied, “I don’t like him mentioning my real name, just refer to me as ‘Hound’ from now on.”

“Then why did he assign you a different code name?” argued Victor.

“Because, that’s what it is on record” replied Hound.

Victor wasn’t satisfied, but shrugged his shoulders and got into his silver Honda Civic. Hound started up a navy blue SUV, and drove off.


Hound took a plane to Alaska. He walked up to the front desk of a motel. The registry office looked a little shitty, but he wasn't going to jump to conclusions about the room. He requested the room furthest from the road. It wasn't too bad. He hid his duffel bag with all his gear under the bed. While really obvious, he was only staying for the night. It was 10:00, and he was tired from the long flight. He slowly dozed off.

He woke up next morning, and made breakfast. He looked at his clock, it was time. He loaded up his duffel bag, inside was a 45 caliber bolt action sniper rifle, and a Colt 1911A1. He left the He was now near an SCP research facility named “Site 19”.

He had pulled off a dirt path, so he wouldn’t be seen. He popped the trunk to his car, pulled out the scoped rifle, and loaded it with incendiary bullets. He laid down in some underbrush as he saw a car in the distance. He looked through the scope of his rifle at the delivery car. It had an insignia that consisted of a Gear, a circle, and three arrows; the Foundations insignia. “Got ya” he said as he pulled the trigger. He wasn’t stupid enough to try and aim for the driver, of course it would have bullet-proof glass. He aimed for the underbelly of the car, where the gas tank and exhaust were. It didn’t blow up as you probably expected it to. He hit it on the tail pipe to where it would make enough sound to make the driver stop for repairs.

As expected, about a kilometer up the road, they stopped. Hound approached the driver, who was a Caucasian man wearing a black parka. When the mad saw him he mutter, "Exactly who the fuc-" Hound then pulled the .45 pistol from its holster, and shot the man in the chest. He didn't exactly like killing, but he knew it had to be done. He dragged the body into the surrounding woods. He then proceeded to the truck. He opened the door and to his surprise, not only were the Staff of Hermes and The Physics Engine in the back, but also a tied up, and gagged Victor Strate. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”


Chaos Insurgency operatives soon showed up, and escorted them to the plane that would take them back on-site.

“How’d you end up captured?” asked Hockenberry.

“I was in London, retrieving The Physics Engine from some GRU-P guys who found it a day before hand. Very unfortunate for me we got ambushed by MTF, the Ruskies retreated while I got captured and sent on my way to some SCP facility, then you showed up,” replied Strate.

Hound nodded.

There was a mini fridge in the party bus they were using as a disguise. Hound opened it, and pulled out a six-pack.

“You want a Beer?” said Hockenberry, “It’s imported from England.”


They got off the party bus and onto a Cargo Plane. They lifted off in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the intention of touching down in Moscow, Russia. They made an emergency landing somewhere in Siberia, due to dwindling fuel supplies.

The doctors were ordered to check on the condition of the items. When they entered the cargo hold, Victor picked up the Staff of Hermes, “It’s all good over here.”

Hound stared at the Physics Engine for a few seconds, “same here.”

Victor walked over with the staff in his hands, wiped his forehead and said, “God, I’m thirsty,” mid-sentence he accidentally tapped the Physics Engine with the Staff, instantly turning into a container of Mineral Water, resembling the shape of the Physics Engine.

“Oh god! What have you done!” exclaimed Hound.

“I just, uhhh…tapped it,” explained Victor.

“You can’t do that!” yelled Hound,” Now we’re both in trouble!”

The plane’s engine started up…


When the plane landed, the two doctors rushed out and started yelling explanations at Doctor Nouva.

“Hold on,” said Nouva,” Now tell me, what happened.”

“He turned the Physics Engine into water.”

“I did not, the staff did.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” interrupted Nouva,” You mean the Staff of Hermes?”

They nodded their heads simultaneously.

“Well that’s easy, all you got to do is want to turn it back, and tap it!”

Amazed by their stupidity, they started walking towards the plane.

“What am I going to do with them two,” Nouva muttered to himself.


Hockenberry looked at Victor, “I guess I can tell you my real name now.”

Victor, looking interested said, “Yes…”

“It’s Kenny, Kenneth to be exact.”

“Who killed…”

“Don’t even think about it!” exerted Hockenberry angrily.

“Ha Ha! Okay, see you ‘round,” said Victor as he walked off.

“Okay, goodbye!”

THE END


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Cad's own reservoir of deleted articles, Mass Review

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