I.T. Station Alpha
rating: 0+x

This document is now closed. Thanks to everyone who worked on it, but it wasn't very good so I had to pull the plug on the project. Don't worry because a new project is under way. If you want to view the new collabrative work, click HERE

The Following Is A Secure Server:
(Hello, my name is Agent Darker. Recently we here in the IT department have been getting bombarded by questions about the Insurgency's computer systems. This Server is designed to help lessen the load on the IT department by having a neat and organized way to ask any questions that you may have about the computer systems here at the Chaos Insurgency. Here is how to ask a question:)

Agent Darker: Hey IT, how do I get the computers down at Polar Station 12 up and running (I really need to know)?
Response: Sure just go to the main circut room look for the button that says: Power and you should be set.

Dr. Hydrix: Hey IT, I'm stuck in the elevator at Sub Site 1029-p, any chance of you getting me out?
Response: Hey Dr. H, I'll try to get you out within the next few hours so sit tight.

User not found: We have some fuses here that are filled with worms. Care to explain?
Response: Yeah, not sure how that happened but my best guess is that it was Dr. ████'s work.

User not found: Someone has ordered the replacement of a computer, the reason stated that it never existed. and what is that thing standing where the computer should be standing?
Response: Yeah, the new computer was ordered because we were running a few tests on it and well, we blew it up (Literally). Also as for the thing standing there, I'm really not at the liberty to say my only advice to you would be to ignore it (if you do it might go away).

User not found: This might not help, but I think the system is untested and untried. Shouldn’t we run this system through the "Sandbox System", before putting it live?
Response: I agree my superiors down here in the I.T. department said to get it up pronto but don't worry an updated system is currently being tested and will replace this one once it's up.

Agent Palmer: Hey Darker, the blast doors in the lunch room have been opining and closing at random. While I obviously act cautious around them, some intern might walk through and get bisected, so yeah, please get them fixed as soon as possible. thanks
Response: Palmer you know that's not within my department. I can't tell you how many times people have informed me about the damn doors, go talk to Dr. ████. If that nut job can't fix em' then no one can.

Ometja: Looks like the system bugged out on day 30. I fixed my user name. Let's get this bird back up.
How about a Storyline? A cautionary tale about what happens when you mess with CI text-support maybe?
Response: Sounds good if you will help I'll put it back up.

Agent Palmer: There was a guy in a white suit here, said he was from Base Six. He fixed the lunch-room-doors, but I think they have started playing chess with Dr. ████. Is this normal or do all CI doors include a Chess-computer?
Response: White guy in a suit?… Wait, oh shit!!! Evacuate now!

Researcher TiMu: The server keeps rebooting, are you guys responsible?
Response: Sorry about the wait, yeah it was us. We might have messed up on a software update thus causing every computer to mess up. I'll fix it as soon as I can.

Researcher KeZp: Some guy in a white suit is going around overwriting door controls. My office is in permanent look-down. Someone registered it as a containment chamber that a Beta Clearance cant open. Any Ideas?
Response: Okay, sit tight and no matter what, do not attempt to talk to him. That's all I can say.

Agent Vilma: Someone emptied out our weapons depot. The logs say it was the IT department. What is going on?
Response:Sorry, I meant to empty out all of the porn spam folders from TiMu's computer whoops.

Alpha-008: What the Hell are you guys doing? My clearance is invalid, and this is the only link out of a locked down base. All I am getting on all screens is a grandfather clock gif with rewinding hands.
Response: We may or may not have screwed the pooch and released a creature that will try to kill anyone in site.

Ometja: Looks like I have set it up all-right, don’t you think? Tic, Tok goes the clock. Think, think goes Dr. ████. Boom, boom goes Base ██.
Response: Ometja, please for the love of god stop messing with the systems at Base ██, thanks.

Ometja: Sometimes to show the importance of IT support you have to wire all door controls to to the server, a chess game and a nuke. I removed the weapons, just to make sure they don't shot each other once they realize there situation. I dumped the weapons in an office and locked the door. I have already brought enough distance between me and the Base. I could not interfere with the running system, even if i wanted to. This is an IT problem now. That will show them the importance of proper support.

Mr. Emperson: testing, is this thing still on?
Ometja: Well, considering that the server room is a crater i would say no, but on the other hand…
Let us just say the original guy running this is gone, at least i think he is.
But yes, it is still on. Just much smaller scale.

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