Super secret Cad easter egg

Name: M█████ R███ C███

Operator's Tag: CDC

Designation: Beta

Current Assignment: Department Assistant Head: Division of Item Usage, Research and Containment

Profile: The pragmatic "Dr. Martin Caduceus" maintains that its true name is that of a dart being fired from a dartgun, which he carries around with at all times should other entities wish to address it by name. It has received its current nickname due to its habit of signing reports with a hand-drawn Caduceus symbol. Although apparently competent at its job, its snoopish attitude and habit of repelling its coworkers by walking around medical treatment areas with chewed berry mints stuck to its face has gained it the contempt of a majority of its fellow staff members.


M. Caduceus' face can, by all means, be photographed, and does not contain any unusual detail save for a rather well-defined nose. It has one sepia eye and one reddish-brown eye, which are both eye contacts worn for no other reason than aesthetic. The Dr. has a habit of avoiding tasks aside from its current given objective, putting its assistant(s) to duty instead.

History: M████ R████ C██████ surfaced in The Insurgency's radar after breaking into a front medical university, and subsequently posing as a physician for a period of at least three weeks, stealing tools and ██████, which eventually culminated into an incident where the Dr. performed non-consensual invasive testing on Dr. ███████-█, having already been reported by hospital staff due to his repeated readings of the study paper, "On the Comparative Sensitivity of the Human Female Nipple in Laboratory and Field Conditions, upon Aware and Unaware Subjects.", at each of the hospital front's facilities. Having reportedly had enough of ██████ disappearances, and, slightly more relevantly, Dr. Caduceus' antics, embedded agent Agent ███████ incapacitated the Dr. shortly afterwards, and brought the entity to Captive Command.

It is unclear how M████ R████ C██████ convinced his Gamma interviewer to continue with limited Object testing in lieu of his termination scheduling, as the individual possesses no manipulative ability whatsoever, and, after further delay, a slight stutter. However, he nonetheless found himself recruited to The Insurgency after being involved in an acquisition of the original sample of sporal-contagion and a noticeable link established with the Third Eye.

During the 2nd Revolution, Dr. Caduceus participated heavily with opposition forces in taking out Loyalist installations. In an attempt to terminate the late Doctor Mark, he was incapacitated and considered WIA. Although coming to before the end of the feud, some unusual actions taken by the Physician prompted a deeper investigation of his history, especially in regards to a decades-old testament written by a noted Insurgency figure Dr. A. R..

Having displayed his aptitude in exploiting Item usage and skill in the Medical field, West Atlantic cell has promoted Dr. Caduceus to a special Beta permission within its ranks and access to a larger patients' Database.




Caduceus: Most glorious and powerful Haos, I am but a mortal man who is not worthy for your presence in such an interview. But if You deem my existence honorable at this moment, then I will gladly enter this questioning out of my duty and respect for such greatness.


Caduceus: Because I can at least undermine you by saying that in a way that is blatantly sarcastic in person but not at all obvious in a paper format.


Caduceus: No, sir. I want to keep this job. I will not do it again.


Caduceus: Well, back when I was a kid, I recall always wanting to be a doctor. And, uh, yes, I did not know of it. I thought security guard or an engineer could work as well, because I lived in a small to—


Caduceus: Pragmatic is the safest way to go here, actually. A lot of them are being unnecessarily arbitrary in how they act during shitstorms like ████████-██-█-███.


Caduceus: It's all a matter of means, then. I never knew that was happening.


Worthy Item Files Logged:


Tests Conducted:



Invasively Examining at 25,000 km Altitude (quasi x cad adult content)

This is a joke. I made that fact very clear when I wrote "quasi x cad adult content".

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License